The Passion of the Christ

Heavenly Father,

Today, or last night rather, 40 people came out with the TGIF Bible study to watch The Passion of the Christ! WOW. You are awesome. I pray that you use that movie to invoke thought and to spark a desire in our hearts to know you more. Use me Lord.. use me to further your kingdom.

But most of all, this morning, I ask that you would make your PASSION real to me. Help me to understand what that means to my life.. to my faith.

Thank you for letting me be a part of this. Thank you for choosing me to serve you. Thank you for your many blessings. Thank you for the tests and trials that build my faith in you. Thank you for my brothers Miguel and Mark who encourage me and challenge me... Thank you for Bien, my sister.

I love you more and more each day. I pray that never stops growing.

Bah-tons Baby!!

Oh Lord,

You never cease to amaze me. You bless every minute of my day with more joy that only comes from you.

Today, I went to lunch with Ginang Nacu, Mark, Jon and Jade.. that was a pleasant and unexpected event for today. I had a lot of fun and laughed a lot.

I talked to Laura in class... We were talking about dreams and sleep. I laughed a lot.

I saw Laura and Rachel on the shuttle... Rachel's coming to see the Passion. I praise You and thank You for every single person You add to the list. On the way back home, we were talking and laughing. It was great.

Then Mark, Miguel and Bien came over again to practice the Bridge Illustration. I love those people. Thank you for their lives. They make me laugh, they encourage me, they inspire me, and they are all around beautiful people. I enjoy their company and the laughter... and all the wonderful things we share in common... ESPECIALLY YOU!

Then they left... and I called Ivy to help me prepare for my RA interview. She's a wonderful person and really helpful. But more than that, I've found an awesome friend in her. Thank you God. We shared a lot of similar experiences with each other.. and even shed some tears together. I didn't expect to be so blessed.

Jesus... you are so wonderful... I attribute all my joy and all my blessings to You. You are the source of everything good in my life. You are the source of life.

I love You.

Matthew's Gospel

This morning I read about the death and resurrection of Jesus in the book of Matthew. As I was praying about it, I realized that I had read it so many times. I realized that it's so easy for someone to have faith and believe in it if they've been taught it so many times. It becomes something regular. So today, I asked God to make Jesus' story REAL to me... make it REAL to my life. I asked him to show me and teach me what Christ's death meant to ME.

I also learned something new today while reading. On the road to Golgotha where he was crucified, Jesus was offered wine with Gall mixed in it. I wondered... what's Gall? I read in the footnote that Gall deadens the pain. People were offering a way out of his suffering... trying to ease his pain. But Jesus refused it. He wanted to suffer and pay the FULL price of our sins. He wanted to fulfill his mission completely... wholeheartedly. He never backed down. He could've come down from the cross. He could've told them to stop beating him and mocking him. He could've asked God to send down a legion of angels to rescue him-- but he didn't. He went all the way... for ME.

I thank you Jesus for suffering for me. I never want to take for granted what you did for me.

Sigh... I love you, Lord.

God,

You are amazing. You are awesome. You are beautiful. Your love is... Indescribable.

So much is happening. You're moving in me. I can't even put into words what I'm experiencing.

You've blessed me so much already. You've changed my perspective and my heart. You've transformed my mind. You've given me so much strength.

Yesterday, the meeting with Miguel, Bien, and Mark was so blessed. You were there in our midst. You guided us. You overwhelmed me with your presence. You are going to do something amazing in us and through this Bible study. I know it. You are going to touch so many people with this movie. I have faith.

Today, I talked with Ian for the first time since last Wednesday. It was very good to hear from him and hear all the great things that You're doing in his life. Of course, I had to share what You were doing in mine.. and I couldn't stop talking. I'm so thankful for what you're doing in our lives. I'm thankful that you've allowed us to remain friends. I have faith that you have an AWESOME plan for each of us... something beyond anything we could ever imagine.

I love You. I give my life and my heart to You. I surrender it all to You. I worship You.

God is GOOD! ALLL THE TIME!

GO JESUS!! I love you!

Thank you God! It wasn't that bad!!

I just finished my test, and although I didn't do as well as I could've or as well as I did last time, I was very surprised to know how much I did retain this morning! All the glory and praise go to JESUS CHRIST! He guided me through it all the way.

I love you Lord!

Today's Theme Song: Goodbye To You by - Michelle Branch

I never really listened to the lyrics of this song. This is my theme song today.


Goodbye To You Lyrics - Michelle Branch:

"Of all the things I've believed in,
I just want to get it over with,
tears form behind my eyes,
but I do not cry,
counting the days that pass me by.

I've been searchin' deep down in my soul;
words that I'm hearin' are starting to get old,
it feels like I'm starting all over again,
The last three years were just pretend,
and I said...

Goodbye to you,
goodbye to everything I thought I knew,
You were the one I loved,
the one thing that I tried to hold onto.

I still get lost in your eyes,
and it seems that I can't live a day without you,
closing my eyes,
and you chase my thoughts away,
to a place where I am blinded by the light,
but it's not right.

Goodbye to you,
goodbye to everything I thought I knew,
You were the one I loved,
the one thing that I tried to hold on to.

Ooh whoa....
and it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time,
I want what's yours and I want what's mine,
I want you,
but I'm not giving in this time.

Goodbye to you,
goodbye to everything I thought I knew,
You were the one I loved,
the one thing that I tried to hold onto
Goodbye to you, (goodbye to you)
goodbye to everything I thought I knew, (goodbye to you)
You were the one I loved,
the one thing that I tried to hold onto,
(the one thing that i tried to hold onto)
the one thing that I tried to hold onto.
(the one thing that i tried to hold onto)

Oh, oh whoa, oh, oh (one thing that i tried to hold onto)
and when the stars fall I will lie awake,
you're my shooting star

6 hours to go! Pray!

Dear Jesus,

I've got 6 six hours to study for my neurobiology midterm. Please give me the wisdom to understand and retain the knowledge i'm about to study. Help me to memorize as best I can and to reproduce it during the test. Thank you for the rest last night.

The Passion is this Friday!! 4 more days to go!

God, Help Me!!

Dear God,

I'm struggling so much right now. I don't want to study. I don't like school. I don't want to do homework. I just want to have fun and listen to music and play music and sing and hang out with friends all day long. I need your strength and your discipline right now SOOO badly. I'm really feeling apathetic about school. I don't know if Psychology is what you want me to be doing. I'm really feeling for music. But i'm not sure what to do. Help me Lord and give me discernment and direction.

Help me to open my books and read my notes.. and most of all to comprehend and retain what I review. Help me to have a passion for learning and to be a good and responsible student for You. This is my biggest struggle right now. Lord, help me!

Job

Job 1:6-12

Job was a man of God. Satan believed that if God took away all his possessions that Job would curse God to his face. But God believed that he was truly "blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil." So God allowed Satan to take everything Job had, including his children, but told Satan not to kill Job.

Even through the suffering of losing all he had in the blink of an eye... Job praised God. He recognized that no matter what trials or suffering he went through, he should praise God. That is really admirable. And that's why God had so much faith in his servant Job.

Dear Jesus,

Today I want to praise you for any suffering I'm going through. I want to be like Job who never ceased to praise You, even through the extremely hard times in his life. I know that you have an awesome plan for my life and that my sufferings and trials build my perseverance and faith. Help me Lord to praise you through all circumstances.

I love you.

I Ain't Yo' Uncle and Whale Rider

Today I watched Arash's show I Ain't Yo' Uncle. It's the characters' of Uncle Tom's Cabin version of the story. Very moving. Very thought-provoking. Very creatively done.

Then after that I watched the movie Whale Rider with my roommate Carina. It was surprisingly good. I've seen it at Blockbuster before, but I didn't know what it was about. The girl in the movie is soo cute and very talented. Good movie.

I missed the Christina Aguilera SNL, but Allan said it wasn't that good. I'm not surprised actually. Most of the SNLs these days are really lame compared to how there were before.

Now I'm watching the VH1 movie on Ike and Tina Turner. Dude.. People who think that beating their wives or children are SICK. It makes me SOOOOO mad.

I'm sleepy now. Going to bed.

Tomorrow I'm going to rehearse with Monday Sessions and then I'm going to the Rock. Does anyone wanna come?

Today's Theme Song: Do They See Jesus in Me? by Joy Williams

Is the face that I see in the mirror the one I want others to see?
Do I show in the way that I walk in my life the love that you've given to me?
My heart's desire is to be like you in all that I do, all I am

Do they see Jesus in me?
Do they recognize your face?
Do I communicate your love and your grace?
Do I reflect who you are in the way I choose to be?
Do they see Jesus, Jesus in me?

Well it's amazing that you'd ever use me, but use me the way you will
Help me to hold out heart of compassion and grace
A heart that your Spirit fills
May I show forgiveness and mercy the same way you've shown it to me

Do they see Jesus in me?
Do they recognize your face?
Do I communicate your love and your grace?
Do I reflect who you are in the way I choose to be?
Do they see Jesus, Jesus in me?

Well I want to show all the world that You are the reason I live and breathe
So You'll be the one that they see when they see me

Oh, do they see Jesus in me?

Do They See Jesus in Me?

Acts 2:42-47 describes some very devoted believers in Christ. Soul Journey.org described 4 of the main practices that these believers did.

• Teaching: They focused on the gospel—the telling of Jesus’ life, death, and resurrection. This powerful teaching resulted in disciples who presented a focused, clear message.

• Fellowship: As the believers met at the temple, or in one another’s homes, genuine love and caring was exhibited that had to attract unbelievers. There was a way about them—an identity—that marked the believers.

• Breaking Bread: It’s likely that the meaning of this practice mentioned in Acts 2:42 is the remembrance of the Lord’s Supper. As believers consistently broke bread and took the cup together, their hearts, minds, and wills were brought to the cross for purification and renewed passion.

• Prayer: The believers were following the practice of Jesus. The words poured forth from hearts that were filled with awe at what God was doing in their midst.

These people did this EVERY DAY. I want to be able to do this EVERY DAY so that no one will be able to miss the fact that I believe in Jesus Christ. Through teaching, fellowship, remembering Christ's death through Communion, and prayer, I want others to be able to see Jesus living in me.

Dear Jesus,

You are God. You are holy. You are loving. You are awesome.

I confess to you that I haven't been exemplifying what it means to be a Christian. I'm sorry for hiding you inside my heart and not letting you shine through me. Please forgive me and help me to be the disciple that you called me to be.

Thank you for your Word today and thank you for the example you left for me to follow in Acts 4:42-47. Thank you for a good night's rest last night. I got to sleep almost 12 hours. Thank you for starting my day off with me once again. Thank you for loving me and holding me in your arms last night when I felt alone. Thank you for putting me to sleep when I couldn't go to sleep. Thank you for all the blessings in my life, especially people. Thank you for life itself and the calling you've given me to share Your life with everyone. Thank you for Mel Gibson and his movie. I'm so excited.

I pray Lord that you would help me to be a good disciple, a good servant. Help me to boldly share Your story with people. Help me to fellowship and love others with Your amazing love. I pray that I will always remember that you suffered extreme pain and died on the cross to save me from my sins and to give me eternal life in Heaven. I pray that you give me consistency in spending time with you EVERY DAY. I pray that I would start the day off with you every day. I pray also for the Passion movie. I pray that it will be used as a strong evangelistic tool and that through this movie, millions of people will come to know what you did for us all. I also pray for my friends. For those who know you already as their personal Savior, I pray that you would strengthen their faith and love for You. Help them to grow and to share You with everyone they know. I pray for those of my friends who don't know you as their personal Lord and Savior. Help me to reach out to them by bringing them to church, taking them to see the Passion, and even just talk to them about You. I pray for Ian, that you would strenghten his faith and that you would use him mightily for Your glory. I also pray for my family. I pray that you would make them all strong women of faith and that you would use them to further Your Kingdom.

I love you Jesus.

PCC begins...

Dear Jesus,

Today was a beautiful blessing. After the mmw quiz, Mark, Ferry and I, walked to the saac lounge to hang out and check out if the roles for pcc had been posted up. Then I saw Laura and she helped me with my hw a WHOLE bunch. Then the roles were posted and I got a part named Mandi Rigma. Oh and I saw ReyRey too... I miss him. We need to catch up. I got to invite him to see the Passion with us. Anyway, Jason came in with his guitar, and I started singing. I was having so much fun. Then Jalyn came and later Jason, her, and I ate dinner together. Thank you for the great eating buddies today. I also got to talk to Abe about stuff and I haven't talked to him in a while. OH and I sang three part harmony with Joe and Abe. It was beautiful!!!

Then after that we went to the meeting at the Cross Cultural Center. That was waaaaaaaaaaaay fun. We played a game, laughed a lot watching the old PCC videos, and shared stories of our experiences with the new people. It made me tear a bit when I thought of Pa. Hi Pa! Miss you!!

Then afterwards, I went to Hed's place (aka Bien's and Dianne's place) and we had a jam session. Hed had a drum set, Jason had his guitar... Teddy was there playing drums too.. I sang a bit and Mark did too. Then after people started leaving... me, Mark, and Miguel started messing around with the guitar and making up songs about each other. That was fun.

So overall I had a beautiful, fun day with great people. You have totally blessed me today and surrounded me with loving friends. Thank you.

As a walked to my apt. alone, though, the loneliness tried to creep back in. This is the hardest part of my day now. No Ian to talk to on the phone at night and sing Tango Mango to me. It's just you and me Jesus. Just the two of us from now on. I'll sing to you this time...

I sing a simple song of love
To my Savior, to my Jesus
I'm grateful for the things you've done
My loving Savior, oh precious Jesus

My heart is glad that you've called me your own
There's no place I'd rather be

Than in your arms of love
In your arms of love
Holding me still
Holding me near
In your arms of love

Today's Theme Song: Worth It All by Alltogether Separate

It will be worth it all someday
It will be worth it
to go the straight and narrow way
When we finally see His face
And feel His warm embrace
It will be worth it all that day

These present troubles don't compare
To all the glory our God,
He has prepared
'cause when we finally see His face
And feel His strong embrace
It will be worth it all that day

And I can see the angels
as they celebrate and call your name
And I can hear the Father,
with a tear in His eye
As He says well done
my good and faithful servant
Well done

It will be worth it all
It will be worth it all
It will be worth it all that day

I Want Faith Like This

Bible Gateway : MARK 2:1-12;:


Jesus Heals a Paralytic

1A few days later, when Jesus again entered Capernaum, the people heard that he had come home. 2So many gathered that there was no room left, not even outside the door, and he preached the word to them. 3Some men came, bringing to him a paralytic, carried by four of them. 4Since they could not get him to Jesus because of the crowd, they made an opening in the roof above Jesus and, after digging through it, lowered the mat the paralyzed man was lying on. 5When Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralytic, 'Son, your sins are forgiven.' "

"...He said to the paralytic, 11 'I tell you, get up, take your mat and go home.' 12He got up, took his mat and walked out in full view of them all. This amazed everyone and they praised God, saying, 'We have never seen anything like this!' "




Dang... I want faith like this. The place was packed and the guys bringing the paralytic man couldn't get in. But they had SOOO much faith in Jesus and his healing power, that they knew they HAD to get in the building. They believed it so strongly that they stopped at nothing to get in. They dug a HOLE through the ROOF to lower the man down to see Jesus!!! CAHRAYZEEEEE! Then when Jesus saw their faith in him, he not only healed his body... he forgave his sins.

This just shows me how Jesus can bless me if I have faith enough to go to the extreme for him. I think i'm digging my hole through the roof by letting go of a relationship and trusting that Jesus will heal my heart and forgive me of my sins. It's a hard thing to do, but I know that the blessings will exceed the amount of heartache I'm going through.

I know God can do amazing things through me if I completely trust him in everything, including my school work, my career plans, my friendships, my relationships.. my whole future. It's hard when you don't have anyone sitting next to you in the car... it's hard when you're doing your hw all alone... and its hard when you have to sit in your room eating your food by yourself. But it's all going to be worth it. I'm going to be able to talk to Jesus in all those times of loneliness.

I'm building faith muscles so I can have faith to dig my hole through the roof to see Jesus. I want everyone to be like... whoa that's crazy what she did... she really trusts Jesus.

Today, I have faith that I'm going to get through this day. I have faith I'm going to do well on this reading quiz in MMW and I'm going to finish my CogSci hw. I know I could be doing it now... but that's how much faith I have!! Spending time with God first thing in the morning is the most important thing. It can affect your whole day. So i'm investing this time in God. Hopefully he'll bless me for it!

Dear Jesus,

Thank you for this day. Thank you for a good morning and a good night's rest. Thank you for starting the day off with me. Thank you for a brand new start. Thank you for your awesome Word that you've provided me with for guidance.

God thank you for being my God... my Friend... my Father... my Everything. You are so awesome. Help me to love you more every day and grow closer to you by knowing you through your Word.

I confess to you that I haven't been having too much faith in You. I haven't been trusting that you'll get me through this or trusting that you've put me in this position for a specific reason. Forgive me and help me to have an amazing faith in you.

Thank you for your unconditional love for me. Thank you for dying on the cross for me. Thank you for making the ultimate sacrifice of your own life... just for me. Thank you for your love that fills me up like no other.

Thank you for all my wonderful friends who are here in San Diego encouraging me and comforting me. They also inspire me to have more faith in You. Thank you for Ian too who had the courage to let go of the relationship too so that we could live lives that honor You.

I pray for discipline in my school work. I procrastinate a lot and I can't keep focused. But now I dedicate all my work to you and I pray that I will be reminded that I'm not studying or working hard for anyone but YOU. I pray for strength to get through this day.
I pray for Ian that he would know you more and trust in You more regarding his career plans and even his relationships in the future.

Thank you for a new day. I love you Jesus.

"'Instant character' can be manufactured in the studio, but the seasoning that sets a person apart comes only with time, effort, and experience in life. Christian character is built through trusting God in trials one day at a time. There is no short-cut. But as the process goes on, you'll be seasoned as others are helped and strengthened through you." --Dave McCasland

mel gibson's the passion of the christ.

go watch it.

www.thepassionofthechrist.com