free

i'm in the bay for a little over a week. it's winter break. it's so good to be among friends.

so this is what i've done so far:

sunday:

drove up with nowie, justin, goose, and ace.
slept over at grace's in san jose.. we didn't really sleep though. we talked until 630 in the morning. YAY for good talks.

monday:

went to gilroy outlets with grace and "raped the puma store" according to grace. so much fun... so bad.

then went to ongpin to meet up nowie's parents... good filipino food. yum.

went to nowie's house. watched two sucky teeny bopper movies just for fun: ella enchanted and confessions of a teenage drama queen.

tuesday:

woke up hella late again. went to a lil chinese restaurant with nowie and ran into her high school friends. convinced them to come to haight street with us instead of studying for their finals (oh i am so glad i'm done with that mess).

went to haight. raped the wonderful earrings store that i love going to. fabulous earrings for only $2-4 each! bought a jacket from true. we won't say how much it was... but its oh so beautifully me.

came back. ate leftovers (yummy). went to the grocery and bought baking goods. baked little cheescake cupcake thingies... mmm... watched bend it like beckham. good movie.





plans for the rest of the week:

wednesday:

chill with danai in the city.
meet up with anj after her finals.
hang out with my best friend before she leaves me.

thursday:

go back to gilroy and return shoes with grace.

hang out with beng and go out dancing... woohoo!

friday:

chill with danai again? maybe do some tourist stuff... we'll see.
go to a stanford holiday party with nowie and family. we get to dress up pretty!!
go to a party with nowie and her friends... woohoo more dancing and fun!

saturday:

chill with drey and make music! haven't seen this talented guy in forever!!
go caroling with kp folks?

sunday:
church
fbc vallejo's cantata
caroling again?
chill with nowie's cousins

monday:

more music making with drey!
not really sure what else.

tuesday:

chill with nowie til i leave at 7.


soooooooooooooooooooooooooo that's all for now. i'm having fun.. being my own person and being free to hang out wherever the wind takes me. it's so good to be around positive people and do fun things. i've needed that for a very long time. it's time to have good, fun, and stress-free zandi time with people that i love and who love me too!


I LOVE YOU FRIENDS!


Happy Holidays... Happy Winter Break.

Pink Poop

My hair is fuschia.

My van is getting an oil change.

My heart is a little beaten up, but not broken.

What I want, I can't have.

What I want, I shouldn't.

POOP.

With Hope

This is not at all how
We thought it was supposed to be
We had so many plans for you
We had so many dreams
And now you've gone away
And left us with the memories of your smile
And nothing we can say
And nothing we can do
Can take away the pain
The pain of losing you, but ...

We can cry with hope
We can say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
(There's a place by God's grace)
There's a place where we'll see your face again
We'll see your face again

And never have I known
Anything so hard to understand
And never have I questioned more
The wisdom of God's plan
But through the cloud of tears
I see the Father's smile and say well done
And I imagine you
Where you wanted most to be
Seeing all your dreams come true
'Cause now you're home
And now you're free, and ...

We have this hope as an anchor
'Cause we believe that everything
God promised us is true, so ...

We wait with hope
And we ache with hope
We hold on with hope
We let go with hope

Time of the Month

ha. it's that time of the month again. woop dee doo. the other day i had a really bad pms headache. so annoying. i was being really biatchy too. i've passed the pre part of pms.. and now i have the wonderful symptoms that every woman experiences once a month including bloating, and backaches. yay.

on top of that... i'm so confused. i can't really say about what, but if you've talked to me recently... you know what about. i feel so high school. i'm going crazy! if only somebody would make up his/her mind.

in the meantime, i'm being the best ra i can be... trying to be around as much as possible, while still maintaining a social life.

right now... i'm listening to the Shark Tale soundtrack. VERY COOL. Thanks Markie. I got a bunch of music from him recently -- including the following:

1. Shark Tale soundtrack
2. Rachael Lampa (yesssssssssssssssss!)
3. The Best of Jackson 5
4. Musiq Soulchild - Soulstar

yay!

can't wait to go Cruisin'.

zeefers and jeefers 

nowie and me 

Sistas

This blog is dedicated to two girls in my life that have really been huge blessings to me -- Anjana (aka Jeefers, G, Anj) and Nowie (aka Bien).

Anjana - Thank you for always loving me despite all my mistakes. Thank you for saying you're happy for me, even when you know that maybe I'm going about my happiness the wrong way. Thank you for being there for me when I realize later that I was wrong... and for not saying, "I told you so." Thank you that whenever we pick up the phone after a while, we can start right back where we left off-- even if its been months. Thank you for being such a blessing and a source of joy in my life. Thank you for all our wonderful memories in high school... and college too. Thank you for all our inside jokes. You trip, I trip, right? I love you!

Nowie - Thank you for being my sister here in San Diego. I prayed really hard my first year that God would send me someone to confide in and be accountable to. Thank you for accepting me in spite of all my weaknesses and faults... and numerous, repeated mistakes. Thank you for all our bonding times late at night when we would get close to no sleep because we were too busy making tsismis. Thank you for praying for me and being concerned about my spiritual walk. Thank you for being my shopping buddy, prayer partner, and boy crazy/hater person with me. Even though sometimes we lose touch... God somehow brings us back again-- and I know that isn't an accident or a coincidence. I love you!

Love.

By Musiq Soulchild

Verse 1:
Love
So many things I've got to tell you
But I'm afraid I don't know how
Cause there's a possibility
You'll look at me differently
Love
Ever since the first moment I spoke your name
From then on I knew that by you being in my life
Things were destined to change cause......

Hook:
Love
So many people use your name in vain
Love
Those who faith in you sometimes go astray
Love
Through all the ups and downs the joy and hurt
Love
For better or worse I still will choose you first

Verse 2:
Many days I've longed for you
Wanting you
Hoping for the chance to get to know you
Longing for your kiss
For your kiss, for your touch, for your essence (your beautiful essence)
Many nights I've cried from the things you do
Felt like I could die from the thought of losing you
I know that you're real
With no doubt or no fears Or no questions

Hook: At first you didn't mean that much to me
But now I know that you're all I need
The world looks so brand new to me
Now that I found love
Everyday I live for you
And everything that I do I do it for you
What I say is how I feel so believe it's true
You got to know I'm true, love

**originally written as LORD in place of LOVE. sweeeet.

Earrings!

I went to the quarterly Vendor Fair on Library Walk yesterday and the day before and bought some cute earrings. I'm excited. Last night I was inspired by one of my residents to make an earring rack. Nowie helped me with the idea. She's so creative! It's made out of a shoe box top from XOXO. yay. it was free!

#2 

new earrings #1 

my new earring rack.. handmade by me. concept by nowie 

The Diary of a Resident Advisor: Zandi De Jesus

Wow. It's been a really long time since i've written in here. It's Friday of week zero.. my THIRD year of college. Time really flies. I can't believe I'm a junior. I wanna stay here forever!!!

So this year will be totally different from my first two years at school... I'm an RA (Resident Advisor). I am responsible for half of Africa Hall in ERC. That's 56 freshman total. Geez. Right now I'm just worrying about memorizing all their names. It's been pretty chill so far. I think my residents like me. We'll see how long that lasts. HA.

I've been in San Diego for almost a month already. I got here on August 30th and moved into my RA room... which I must say is friggin awesome. I have so much space here compared to my last two rooms that I don't know what to do with it. The only thing is that all the other res hall RAs have two closets, and I only have one. We think it's because my building was the last one built and they were in a hurry to finish it for the students, so they just said.. eh, what the heck, this RA won't notice! Well guess what people... I NOTICED! But it's all good. Thanks to friends and IKEA, I have improvised and used my space wisely.

Before all the students got here, I had three weeks of RA training. The first week we all stayed in one res hall together so we could bond and get to know each other better. Some of the RAs got their own room, and some were assigned roommates. At first, I was pretty bummed that I didn't get my own room, but when I met my roommate and got a chance to talk to her, I was so thankful. Her name is Libby. She's the RA in Asante in I-House. I'm pretty sure that God placed her as my roommate for a reason. We talked a whole lot about so many things, including God. I really liked her. This was actually my first time in college to ever have a roommate. Too bad it only lasted a week. Anyway, I got to know a few of the RAs pretty well as we shared the same struggles and frustrations during training. It turned out that my OL (orientation leader) from freshman year was an RA too... Edgar is pretty awesome. I love hanging around him because he makes me laugh so freakin much. I also bonded pretty well with the baby of our staff, Mel. She's small like me.. but power-packed... like me too. She's only a second year and is turning 19 in a few weeks... but she's definitely a confident woman who knows what she wants. I like that. I also met another RA named Richard. I think I bonded with him the most... wait, no. I know I did. For some reason, we clicked. I think it was our mutual obsession with Napoleon Dynamite. If any of you who are reading this haven't watched that movie... call me up and I'd be glad to go with you and see it again. Hilarious. Anyway... He's this Korean cowboy (by cowboy I mean, he loves his cowboy hat, and worked on a ranch and all that good stuff. very cool.) dude from Pasadena. But he's not the typical Korean dude... the kind I knew from grade school. He's definitely different... and I think that's why I like him. He's really into music-- to be more specific, the guitar, John Mayer, and country. Country? Yeah... country. At first I was like... um, could we please change the station? But it kinda grew on me and I'm starting to like it. My favorite country songs right now are Gretchen Wilson's "Redneck Woman" and Tim McGraw's "Live Like You Were Dying." Go listen to them. Me likey. Rich is a Poli Sci major and he knows a lot about politics and the election this year. At least, to me he does. Especially since I have no idea what I'm talking about when it comes to the election and politics. Anyway, I think the best part about him is that he makes me laugh all the freakin time. During training, we were always crackin jokes and being obnoxious. We always joke that our supervisors are going to fire us cuz we're so flippin rowdy. I'm definitely glad I met him.

We went on a retreat to Pacific Palisades during our second week of training. That was fun. We stayed at this retreat house called Aldersgate Retreat House. Supposedly it's haunted. Being the extreme scaredy cat that I am, I sat out of all the scary story sessions and the Sardines (backwards hide and seek in the dark). We got to go to 3rd street. That was fun since I haven't been there in so long. We also went to the Museum of Tolerance. The last time I went there, I think I was in middle school. I love field trips. Anyway, that was really interesting. At the end of our retreat we went to this meditation center called Lake Shrine. The place was nice and peaceful. I got a little meditation done, but Rich and I, being the obnoxious kids that we are, were messing around with my digital camera and interviewing people. Crazy kids.

When we got back, our last week was mostly sessions and preparing for the residents to come. I was so nervous and scared. I think I was most nervous for the building meeting. I had to do that one alone. We'll talk more about that later though. Anyway. So I'm the RA for Africa Hall and we had to choose themes for our buildings. What theme could be more appropriate than The Lion King? I know right?! It's perfect. I made door tags for each door with clipart from the movie and I found a font that looked "African." I also made a newsletter that I must say looks pretty darn good. Each floor has their own character to name their suite: Mufasa, Sarabi, Simba, Nala, Zazu, Rafiki, Timon, and Pumba. They actually use them to identify which part of the building they're in! That's exciting to me. But then again, I get excited about everything.

Move-in weekend was pretty smooth. There were tons of parents with their cameras... taking pictures of their babies' dorm rooms.. I even saw a mom cry as she kissed her daughter goodbye. How sweet :'( Surprisingly, all the events during Welcome Week had awesome attendance. Freshmen came out to meet people and to get free food... which is always worth letting your "too cool for school" act go. The biggest surprise to me was the attendance at our Glow in the Dark Capture the Flag event. About 400 residents showed up! We gave half of them blue glow in the dark necklaces and the other half orange. They went crazy... After about 10-15 min of that, we decided to switch things up and play the biggest game of Dodgeball ever. It was hilarious. OH MY GAS. Let me tell you. I was dying of laughter... mostly because of Edgar though. He was screaming at the kids... "YOU'RE OUT!" and reffing the game. I love that man. So entertaining.

The All Campus Dance was interesting as well. Mind you... I've never gone to any of these events during the past two years that i've been here at UCSD. I felt like a freshman... but cooler though cuz I knew hella people and cuz I was wearing my oh so cool RA name tag that the reslife staff so graciously gave us. Speaking of gracious gifts... before I go on with the dance details, let me tell you that I freakin love my supervisors! At our last dinner together during training, we all got free whiteboards, school supplies, and $20 to Pier 1 Imports! Geez... You probably guessed that I was pretty darn excited about that. I was going crazy and danced all around the tables and the waiters and waitresses. Good thing we were eating outside too, cuz they would've probably asked me to leave had we been inside!

Ok. So back to the All Campus Dance. That thing was freakin packed! They held it on Library Walk just outside of Price Center. My friends were djing and emceeing... so talented are my prens... I tell you. Anyway, hardly anyone recognized me because of my haircut. I got double takes from everyone I waved to. I saw Samie, Ellen, and a bunch of KP folks. It was fun for about an hour, but after Rich and I had an awful time trying to find each other using our ever so useful cell phones (not really, they were useless since there's barely any signal in Price Center and the music was way too loud to have a conversation anyway)... we decided to leave.

Also... during this past month, I've been to the beach more times that I've been the past two years I've been here in San Diego. I've tried surfing too... It's pretty fun, but definitely something I have to work on. Hopefully by the end of this year, I'll be decent enough for you to call me a real San Diego surfer girl. HA. yeah right.

The UnOlympics were fun too. It's a competition between all six colleges at UCSD for the Golden Shoe. Basically it's a day of field games, cheers, and dances. Last year ERC won. This year, although we danced and screamed our hearts out, we got 3rd place. Das ok. Next time na lang.

I got to see my EmBeeZiuM family this week... Mark, Bien, and Miguel. It's crazy how much one summer can do. I really missed them this summer and I know we've all grown a whole bunch in different ways. They're all really involved in InterVarsity Christian Fellowship now that Banyuhay has merged with them. Last year our schedules were almost the same. This year, I'll be doing totally different activities. I'm gonna miss doing almost everything with them. Maybe we'll still do our weekly dinners together just for the heck of it. I'm getting so sad just thinking about it all... boo.

So classes started yesterday and I've kept my schedule pretty chill since I knew that this quarter would be busy. I have 3 psych classes and one philosophy class. We'll see how 4 classes go for me... I might drop one. I'm really interested to see how this year goes. I'll be involved in different things, hanging around with different people and growing in so many different ways. Last night I was so homesick and lonely that I pulled out all my pictures from high school and stuff. Ellen, my best friend from middle school, visited me... I'm glad she did. It's good to have her here. She reminds me of home. I talked to Jessica Johnson from high school for a while too. I miss her. She's so busy at USC already! Oh I emailed my Senior Class Advisor, Debbie too yesterday. That's how much I miss people from back home.

Mel came to my rescue last night when I was lonely. We watched How to Lose A Guy in Ten Days together. Good movie. We were big bums on the couch eating cookies and cream ice cream--- mmmm... so good. Rich bought a whole gallon of it cuz we eat it so much. Anyway, I was so into the movie that I called my mom an hour late last night--- SORRY MOM! I hope she's not mad at me anymore. I missed my family a whole bunch last night. I listened to Nini's "The Nearness of You" rendition. It made me feel better. Thanks Ni.

Anyway, I think that's all for now. I'm adding pictures to this blog to show you all the full experience of my RA year.

"You think you know... but... you porgat." --Jaymar Cabebe, "The Diary of A Pilipino" from Touchblue.net.

we're matching! oh my gas! 

Me being hella crazy as usual 

The Res Hall RAs 

the whole RA staff 

another picture of my crazy pren ree char duh

a sample of my door tags 

my door tag 

richard the singing cowboy 

libby and me 

mel and me 

I hate school...

and studying... and finals...

today is my Psyc 163 final. i suck at memorizing. i suck at studying. boo.

i'm stalling... delaying, if you will. i should be studying right now. but i'm not. what a bad student.

SOMEONE HELP ME!!!

im so hungry i'm shaking

im at miramar college in the computer lab waiting for my stats teacher to get in... im so hungry i'm shaking.

summer school sucks. well not really. i really like my ucsd classes. thac 1 (intro to acting is WONDERFUL) and psyc 163 (abnormal psych) is cool cuz the prof is pretty funny. as for stats here at miramar... the drive sucks... the hours suck... and the hw sucks... i hate it!

boo. ok that's enough complaining. thank you Lord for the privelege to go to school. yay!

tin tin is in town visiting... i've been her guardian for the past few days... i felt bad that she had to go to class with me so i dropped her off with kuya marker today. hopefully she has way more fun than i'll have tonight. on tuesday she hung out with kuya ian... they went to chuck and cheese (as my lola would call it). tomorrow we're going to legoland... what a spoiled child! hahah jk. but she is very much blessed. i just wish she had a sister closer in age to her. like ni had toe and i had cole...


anyway... there's a lot on my mind. i've been going through a hard and lonely time lately. too much to explain. just pray for me if you're reading this. i need to find my everything in Jesus.

sim - its so weird that u texted when i was singing eye steal bee leave. hope your car is doing ok. magals.

im still hungry.. im still shaking... all i've had to eat today is a lunchable.. which used to be so filling! and now i only have cinnamon graham goldfishies... and milanos... sounds good... but not substantial enough to fill me up... it'll hold me over til 9 though. ugh... this 3 hours of stats is NOT fun! please someone make it stop!!

ok i'm whining again. i could be doing my hw right now since i'm so behind... but i'm not. i have two midterms on tuesday and i haven't started studying for either yet. what a slacker. i want to be an actress!!! hahah...

im so random... poverty of content.. that's what this is. haha. im a nerdy psych major.

give me food!

my girl nowie..  

david is cute in pink... i love pink! 

i love this girl 

again again.. without the makeup on the guys 

family... embeezium 

chillin on the pcc couch 

cute pictures... oh nowie... where are you?! 

Decision 2004: Where I'm living

So if you looked down below, you saw that I have recently been looking for a place to stay this summer...

I would like to tell everyone who has ever doubted that God answers prayers or that God provides fully... THAT HE DOES!

Just as I was about to take matters into my own hands, God told me to call up Nowie and ask her about her place. She said that her place in Mira Mesa was free until the end of June when the lease was up. Then her, Ferry, and Sheryl were going to move into a place in La Jolla in the beginning of July. SOOOO... Nowie said that I could move into her room for the low low cost of just the utilities and then take her spot at the condo in La Jolla as soon as they move into there... WOW! Praise the Lord. He really provided.

Praise you Jesus.. Thank you.

1 down, 2 to go... (finals that is)

Today was the last day of LIHL 112 -- Heritage Tagalog. I took my final which was not that difficult. Ginang Nacu brought us some pan de sal and butter... and some oj for breakfast! She's sooooo freakin awesome! Here's a picture of my class and the 11 am class at the Song Festival this year. 

16 more days!!

and then i'm not a teenager anymore!!! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!

Chocolate Heaven

THANK YOU KUYA MARKER!!! Ivy and I would like to say a BIG thank you to Mark Mora for being the best kuya of the year.

June 7, 2004: Finals week -- 3 AM in the ERC Computer Lab

MiZaRk112: mmm corndogs!
DjZee624: mmm i want one! we could really use some over here.
M: ok i'll bring some over
D: yay!
M: crapp that sounded like a serious yay
D: what are you talking about... it was
M: lol i knoe. that's what i said crapp
D: ok so just knock on the door when you get here and we'll open it for you. the door gets locked after 10.
M: lol no wayy
D: what?! that's messed up! toying with me, playing with my emotions and hunger!
M: are you seriously hungry?
D: are you seriously asking?
M: I used the root word serious
D: ...yes
M: Ivy too?
D: yeah she is
M: is there a microwave there?
D: no not here
M: do you guys like chocolate?


AND THE REST IS HISTORY!!

THANKS AGAIN!!! YOU'RE AWESOME!!  

KPDC Girls

i found this picture on ivy's imagestation! yay! go kpdc girls! (kp dance crew -- pcc 2004)