Ivy and Me in the ERC Computer Lab

i'm sitting in the computer lab in erc... late night... trying to study for my tagalog final. but all i can do is distract myself with my weblog and uploading pictures!! ivy is sitting right next to me working so hard... why can't i do the same?! this picture is from the kp semi formal! for more pics.. go to www.imagestation.com/members/djzee624 

Daniel Galang -- one who deserves RESPECT

daniel is one of my closest friends... today he was totally there for me when i need someone to talk to.. and he totally understood everything i was going through. i love this guy so much! 

Gwen

like my new jacket? her name is Gwen. The other day at church Tobin said that I had a Gwen Stefani look going... YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!
 

miss you 

Summer's coming

Wow.. I haven't posted in a while.

So the end of the year is coming up fast.

Things on my plate:

Finding a place to live from June 12th to August 7th.
Finding a job for the summer.
Studying for finals this week.
Staying focused on and obedient to God.

So right now my options for housing this summer are:

1. Costa Verde Apts (South Village) w/ Debra (taking Ishani's spot)

Cons:
a. I don't know the people. I found them through the UCSD Off Campus Housing website.
b. They aren't Christian.
c. They are all seniors.

Pros:
a. The location is close to EVERYTHING! School, Albertsons, Blockbuster, the Post Office, my friends who live in Costa Verde too, the pool, the mall... EVERYTHING!
b. The room is VERY VERY spacious. I get to use her full size bed, her desk, and half of her closet space.
c. Parking is easy. It's right off the street.
d. There is an elevator and the room is the FIRST room next to it. Moving my stuff won't be a pain in the butt.
e. The price is pretty good... one of the lowest. Only $341 for rent about $40 for utilities.
f. There is a washer and dryer in the unit.

2. The Venetian w/ Jill, Rachel, and Kathy. (taking Laura's spot)

Cons:
a. The room is small.
b. There are a heck of a lot of stairs to go up.
c. Parking is a little harder.
d. My roommates aren't active Christians.
e. It's a little more expensive -- $350 + 45 for utilities... that's almost $400.
f. Laura isn't leaving til a week after I need the place.
g. The kitchen is pretty small too.

Pros:
a. I know the girls... They're from KP.
b. The place is right next to the pool and the gym.
c. There is a washer and dryer in the unit.
d. It's pretty close to VONS and a whole bunch of other things.
e. It's just as close to school as Costa Verde.

3. Costa Verde or a Condo in La Jolla w/ Ferry and Sheryl (taking Nowie's spot)

Cons:

a. They're not moving in til mid July.
b. Not sure about the girls' faith.
c. It would be hard to move for the second time during the summer.

Pros:

a. I know and love the girls.
b. It's hecka cheap. Only $300 for rent and some for utilities.
c. Lots of space and storage cuz it'll be unfurnished.
d. I'd get to use Nowie's furniture -- a bed, desk, shelves and other containers.
e. They have to live in La Jolla so wherever they choose to live, it'll be close to school.

4. La Jolla Tennis Club

Pros:
a. Only $300 a month. COOL!
b. Living with April! COOL!
c. Closest out of all places to school and freeway.
d. Very spacious.
e. Not charged for utilities.
f. Talkative fun girls, very chill roommate.
g. Close to the Regents bus to school.
h. Amenities include cable modem, pool, washer/dryer, tennis court.

Cons:
a. Still not sure.. going to check it out RIGHT NOW! Praise the LORD!
b. Old.
c. Maybe too talkative...
d. Not as many amenities as Costa Verde.
e. Gym? I dont think so.. not sure.
f. Not so close to grocery or any friends.
g. Washer and dryer are downstairs in the garage... no like.
h. Lots of stairs.. No elevator.

Ok. Time to pray about things.

Dear Lord,

First and foremost I want to praise you and thank you for who you are to me. I acknowledge that you are sovereign over everything... especially my life. Jesus, there are a lot of decisions to be made for this summer and I pray that you would guide me in making each one. I bring them all to you and trust that you will provide and care for me in the best way possible.

Father forgive me of my sins. I know that I have not been perfect.. and I never will be. I've been procrastinating a lot with my school stuff and haven't been focusing. Lord I love you and I want to be obedient in every aspect of my life.

Right now i want to lift up to you my living situation for this summer. I pray Lord that you would clearly speak to me. Please drown out my own selfish desires and show me what is best for me. I give these decisions up to you and know that you have a purpose and plan for everything.

I also lift up to you everything above that i listed.. my job, finals, being obedient... and all my deepest desires and burdens. Please take them from me. I want my will to conform to yours.

I love you Jesus. You know my heart is to worship you... please help me to show you everyday.

Your child,

Zandi

Happy 30th Anniversary Mom and Dad!

Today would have been my parent's 30th wedding anniversary. However, my dad's in heaven right now with Jesus... so yeah. Mom's here in San Diego with me and we're gonna take her out today. She's staying at the Torrey Pines Hilton down the street. Happy Anniversary.

So anyway, I had such weird dreams last night. I dreamt that i kept spilling things everywhere on people. I'm such a clutz (is that how you spell it?). And also, Toni had a concert, and we spent so much time practicing, but we didn't sing any of the songs that we practiced and the whole show lasted as long as a PCC! ECK.

Moving on.

It's been a while since i've written in here. Life has been SOOOO busy because of PCC, and now that it's over, it's a little better. PSST (Pilipino Students Saving Tagalog) is taking up more of my time now. But after this banquet is done, hopefully my schedule will be freed up.

Today I read Oswald Chamber's My Utmost For His Highest. It really caught my attention when he said, "You did not do anything to achieve your salvation, but you must do something to exhibit it." Salvation is free, yes, but once you receive it, it is your responsibility to share it and make it known to others that you have been saved. You can't just keep your free gift to yourself.

Two good passages related to this:

Philippians 2:14-16

Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life--in order that I may boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor for nothing.

1 Timothy 4:12

Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.



Jesus,

Today, I pray that your light shines through me and that I work at exhibiting my salvation to others. I pray that people would notice the difference that You have made in my life. Thank you for restoring me and refreshing me with Your Word and Your love.

I lift up to you my mom, who is alone today for her anniversary. Give her comfort Jesus when she feels sad. Help her to rejoice in the fact that Dad is with you. Help her to find joy when she has none. Fill her Lord with your love and wrap your loving arms around her.

God, I lift up to you the burdens in my life as well. I ask for strength when it seems like i have none left. I pray Lord that I may finish off this quarter strong. I also pray that you guide me in matters of the heart. You know Lord what is going on in my life and the choices that have been laid out in front of me. Help me to choose according to your word and your will. All i want to do is do your will.

I love you, Jesus.

In your most precious name I pray. Amen.

It's been a while!

Wow... its been so long since i've posted. I feel like i've done so much and grown so much since i've last written in here. School has been hard for me lately.. especially with all the extracurricular things going on like PCC and our Bible study (now called Banyuhay, meaning basically "New Form of Life"). But nevertheless, God is amazing and continues to work in my life through people and through everyday events.

Let's give an update.

-I'm going to be an RA next year for ERC.
-I'm going to be in PCC playing Mandi Rigma (meaning warrior in Tagalog.. cool!)
-I've got a new booking agent named Christina Luna.
-I went to the Bay for Spring break and spent time with Jayme, Mark, Kuya Allen, the Palarcas, Drey, Anj, and Beng. It was an awesome week.
-The Bible study, Banyuhay is starting up this quarter. YAY!
-My hair is short and its highlighted what was supposed to be red... but looks brownish.
-After a unpleasant wake up call with school and money, I'm being more diligent with all my responsibilities.
-Three friends of mine recently received Christ into their lives: My ading Jeremy, Thomas, and Jerome. PRAISE THE LORD!
-Toni and a whole bunch of other awesome, beautiful talented people put together a concert last month and shared all of Toni's original music.

for pictures on all of these wonderful events, go to:

http://community.webshots.com/user/djzee624
and
http://community.webshots.com/user/zdejesus

Right now I want to take some time to tell my Jesus how thankful I am for all that He's doing in my life.

Jesus, my Savior,

I want to praise You for all that You are: Holy, Righteous, Sovereign, Loving, Kind, Gracious, Merciful... i could go on and on. You Abba, Father, are the Creator of this whole world. You created everything that lives and breathes... and somehow, although You're SUPER ALMIGHTY POWERFUL... You love a sinner like me. You love me. AMAZING.

Thank you Lord for your forgiveness that you give me because You died on the cross. I'm sorry and I confess that I have been so busy, too busy, to spend time with You. If I say that I love You... I need to show you and tell you everyday. Please forgive me and help me to show you everyday.

Thank you for the wonderful brothers and sisters you've blessed me with: Nowie, Mark, Miguel... all the wonderful new brothers and sisters at IV -- Ramiro, La Mikia, Althea... all my other wonderful friends from KP who love you-- Daniel, Ray, Jerome... oh i could go on. You continually give me more blessing through these people. And to think that I thought I wouldn't be able to handle being single. It is such a gift and a blessing to be single.. to serve you without limitations. JESUS THANK YOU.

Thank you for all the wonderful opportunities to share how much I love you-- even on the shuttle!

I pray that you would continually use me each day to further your kingdom and reach out to those who might not know you or who just need encouragement. Use Banyuhay for Your glory as well. Show us all how You want to use us. There are too many thoughts in my head to type out-- but Lord you know them. You know my concerns: a woman's role in the church, time management and discipline in school, my unsaved friends, Banyuhay, PCC, discipleship, my family, my personal walk with You...

I give all my burdens and concerns to You. Thank you for Your peace that transcends all understanding.

I love You. I love You Jesus.

Today's Theme Song: Enough by Chris Tomlin

All of You is more than enough for all of me
For every thirst and every need
You satisfy me with Your love
And all I have in You is more than enough

You are my supply
My breath of life
And still more awesome than I know
You are my reward
worth living for
And still more awesome than I know

All of You is more than enough for all of me
For every thirst and every need
You satisfy me with Your love
And all I have in You is more than enough

You’re my sacrifice
Of greatest price
And still more awesome than I know
You’re my coming King
You are everything
And still more awesome than I know

More than all I want
More than all I need
You are more than enough for me
More than all I know
More than all I can say
You are more than enough for me

Where do I begin?

My heavenly Father,

I am overwhelmed with thoughts and feelings... with burdens and desires. I'm sitting here in my room thinking about you and how you've been working in my life. I'm overwhelmed. You consistently amaze me.

Lord you are AWESOME. These past few days and weeks have been such an experience. You are evident in my life. I see you in the people around me, in the places I go, and in the daily activities I experience. You are here. I wish I could begin to describe you in words... but as I search for the words, I'm left speechless. I have so many things to say that it overwhelms me and I can't seem to put it down in mere words, but i'll try anyway.. God you are:

Faithful
Perfect
Sovereign
Love
Forgiving
Merciful
Gracious
More than enough

Today I woke up at 6 am to drive back to San Diego from Glendale. On the way I prayed that you would bless today and dedicated it to you. You certainly did more than bless me. I brought Thomas and Jeremy to church. I did not know what you were going to do in their hearts today. It was more than I expected. Today they received you into their hearts. I praise you for that. My brothers will be in heaven with us one day.

Today you restored a broken fellowship. Matthew 5:23-24 says, "Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift." Before I can worship you, you ask that I reconcile with my brother. I asked for guidance and you CLEARLY gave it. The words "thank you" don't seem to suffice in my attempt to express my gratitude to you. You gave me peace, you gave me courage, you gave me strength, you gave me love. You gave him peace, you gave him forgiveness, you gave him love. We will serve you now as one in the body of Christ... no longer separated by sin or a grudge. Thank you thank you thank you. Use me now Lord more than you've ever used me before.

Jesus, I love you. I love you.

Your incredibly grateful, undeserving daughter,

Zandi

Good times with EmBeeZiuM... and Ray and Jerome!

-late night laundry
-feet/pillow fight
-anger!
-Guys? Roomies? Spartans forever?
-love... and forgiveness
-muzack
-MARK MEJIA!! JAKE!!
-rubber ducky PJs and huge Warriors sweatshirt
-late night SavOn's and Kinko's
-hyperactive cheerleaders
-oh hello Sun!!!
-AAAAHHHH! Turn the ugly alarm off!
-Oh hello phone!! Oh hello vibrating phone!
-10 more minutes Mom!

*tear*... I love EmBeeZium! And Ray and Jerome too... we love Jesus!!

The Passion of the Christ

Heavenly Father,

Today, or last night rather, 40 people came out with the TGIF Bible study to watch The Passion of the Christ! WOW. You are awesome. I pray that you use that movie to invoke thought and to spark a desire in our hearts to know you more. Use me Lord.. use me to further your kingdom.

But most of all, this morning, I ask that you would make your PASSION real to me. Help me to understand what that means to my life.. to my faith.

Thank you for letting me be a part of this. Thank you for choosing me to serve you. Thank you for your many blessings. Thank you for the tests and trials that build my faith in you. Thank you for my brothers Miguel and Mark who encourage me and challenge me... Thank you for Bien, my sister.

I love you more and more each day. I pray that never stops growing.

Bah-tons Baby!!

Oh Lord,

You never cease to amaze me. You bless every minute of my day with more joy that only comes from you.

Today, I went to lunch with Ginang Nacu, Mark, Jon and Jade.. that was a pleasant and unexpected event for today. I had a lot of fun and laughed a lot.

I talked to Laura in class... We were talking about dreams and sleep. I laughed a lot.

I saw Laura and Rachel on the shuttle... Rachel's coming to see the Passion. I praise You and thank You for every single person You add to the list. On the way back home, we were talking and laughing. It was great.

Then Mark, Miguel and Bien came over again to practice the Bridge Illustration. I love those people. Thank you for their lives. They make me laugh, they encourage me, they inspire me, and they are all around beautiful people. I enjoy their company and the laughter... and all the wonderful things we share in common... ESPECIALLY YOU!

Then they left... and I called Ivy to help me prepare for my RA interview. She's a wonderful person and really helpful. But more than that, I've found an awesome friend in her. Thank you God. We shared a lot of similar experiences with each other.. and even shed some tears together. I didn't expect to be so blessed.

Jesus... you are so wonderful... I attribute all my joy and all my blessings to You. You are the source of everything good in my life. You are the source of life.

I love You.

Matthew's Gospel

This morning I read about the death and resurrection of Jesus in the book of Matthew. As I was praying about it, I realized that I had read it so many times. I realized that it's so easy for someone to have faith and believe in it if they've been taught it so many times. It becomes something regular. So today, I asked God to make Jesus' story REAL to me... make it REAL to my life. I asked him to show me and teach me what Christ's death meant to ME.

I also learned something new today while reading. On the road to Golgotha where he was crucified, Jesus was offered wine with Gall mixed in it. I wondered... what's Gall? I read in the footnote that Gall deadens the pain. People were offering a way out of his suffering... trying to ease his pain. But Jesus refused it. He wanted to suffer and pay the FULL price of our sins. He wanted to fulfill his mission completely... wholeheartedly. He never backed down. He could've come down from the cross. He could've told them to stop beating him and mocking him. He could've asked God to send down a legion of angels to rescue him-- but he didn't. He went all the way... for ME.

I thank you Jesus for suffering for me. I never want to take for granted what you did for me.

Sigh... I love you, Lord.

God,

You are amazing. You are awesome. You are beautiful. Your love is... Indescribable.

So much is happening. You're moving in me. I can't even put into words what I'm experiencing.

You've blessed me so much already. You've changed my perspective and my heart. You've transformed my mind. You've given me so much strength.

Yesterday, the meeting with Miguel, Bien, and Mark was so blessed. You were there in our midst. You guided us. You overwhelmed me with your presence. You are going to do something amazing in us and through this Bible study. I know it. You are going to touch so many people with this movie. I have faith.

Today, I talked with Ian for the first time since last Wednesday. It was very good to hear from him and hear all the great things that You're doing in his life. Of course, I had to share what You were doing in mine.. and I couldn't stop talking. I'm so thankful for what you're doing in our lives. I'm thankful that you've allowed us to remain friends. I have faith that you have an AWESOME plan for each of us... something beyond anything we could ever imagine.

I love You. I give my life and my heart to You. I surrender it all to You. I worship You.

God is GOOD! ALLL THE TIME!

GO JESUS!! I love you!

Thank you God! It wasn't that bad!!

I just finished my test, and although I didn't do as well as I could've or as well as I did last time, I was very surprised to know how much I did retain this morning! All the glory and praise go to JESUS CHRIST! He guided me through it all the way.

I love you Lord!

Today's Theme Song: Goodbye To You by - Michelle Branch

I never really listened to the lyrics of this song. This is my theme song today.


Goodbye To You Lyrics - Michelle Branch:

"Of all the things I've believed in,
I just want to get it over with,
tears form behind my eyes,
but I do not cry,
counting the days that pass me by.

I've been searchin' deep down in my soul;
words that I'm hearin' are starting to get old,
it feels like I'm starting all over again,
The last three years were just pretend,
and I said...

Goodbye to you,
goodbye to everything I thought I knew,
You were the one I loved,
the one thing that I tried to hold onto.

I still get lost in your eyes,
and it seems that I can't live a day without you,
closing my eyes,
and you chase my thoughts away,
to a place where I am blinded by the light,
but it's not right.

Goodbye to you,
goodbye to everything I thought I knew,
You were the one I loved,
the one thing that I tried to hold on to.

Ooh whoa....
and it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time,
I want what's yours and I want what's mine,
I want you,
but I'm not giving in this time.

Goodbye to you,
goodbye to everything I thought I knew,
You were the one I loved,
the one thing that I tried to hold onto
Goodbye to you, (goodbye to you)
goodbye to everything I thought I knew, (goodbye to you)
You were the one I loved,
the one thing that I tried to hold onto,
(the one thing that i tried to hold onto)
the one thing that I tried to hold onto.
(the one thing that i tried to hold onto)

Oh, oh whoa, oh, oh (one thing that i tried to hold onto)
and when the stars fall I will lie awake,
you're my shooting star

6 hours to go! Pray!

Dear Jesus,

I've got 6 six hours to study for my neurobiology midterm. Please give me the wisdom to understand and retain the knowledge i'm about to study. Help me to memorize as best I can and to reproduce it during the test. Thank you for the rest last night.

The Passion is this Friday!! 4 more days to go!

God, Help Me!!

Dear God,

I'm struggling so much right now. I don't want to study. I don't like school. I don't want to do homework. I just want to have fun and listen to music and play music and sing and hang out with friends all day long. I need your strength and your discipline right now SOOO badly. I'm really feeling apathetic about school. I don't know if Psychology is what you want me to be doing. I'm really feeling for music. But i'm not sure what to do. Help me Lord and give me discernment and direction.

Help me to open my books and read my notes.. and most of all to comprehend and retain what I review. Help me to have a passion for learning and to be a good and responsible student for You. This is my biggest struggle right now. Lord, help me!

Job

Job 1:6-12

Job was a man of God. Satan believed that if God took away all his possessions that Job would curse God to his face. But God believed that he was truly "blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil." So God allowed Satan to take everything Job had, including his children, but told Satan not to kill Job.

Even through the suffering of losing all he had in the blink of an eye... Job praised God. He recognized that no matter what trials or suffering he went through, he should praise God. That is really admirable. And that's why God had so much faith in his servant Job.

Dear Jesus,

Today I want to praise you for any suffering I'm going through. I want to be like Job who never ceased to praise You, even through the extremely hard times in his life. I know that you have an awesome plan for my life and that my sufferings and trials build my perseverance and faith. Help me Lord to praise you through all circumstances.

I love you.