i can't sleep

maybe it's just cuz i'm excited.


i should be sleeping though.


you know what i was thinking? my taste in music is really influenced by my family. deep down... i really love musicals. i was singing today at my friend joe's graduation party and i just really enjoyed singing that kind of music. i really love jazz too. i want my kid(s) to have a really eclectic taste in music. i want them to really love music too. i was watching joe's little brother play the piano and i was like.. dang. that's tight. his sisters play violin and drums and joe plays the sax and his mom is an awesome soprano... that's what i want. i want all my kids to have a deep passion for music. whether it's playing an instrument, or singing, or creating, or even collecting... i want music to be a huge part of our lives... just like it is in my family now. it was really nice to see my mom and joe's mom and the rest of the madrigal crew sing today. i was like... that's my mom! we sang a little together too, which was nice. i miss my dad's harmony though. he would just come in and add his own automatically... that's the way my family is. even nikki who doesn't "sing" knows how to. i love it. today in the car, we were singing "journey to the past" by aaliyah and we broke into harmony at the end of the song without even planning it -- tin, nikki, and i. it was freakin tight. man, we were listening to all kinds of music today: pop, oldies, musicals, opera, filipino, r & b, hip hop... ha. me and tin were hella singing 1-2 step a capella. HA. she knows more of the lyrics than i do! silly tin tin.


ooooh. also, today before we went to the party, i had to clean out a whole bunch of stuff i don't need in the house anymore. i gave so many of my old good clothes to tin tin. it reminds me of the days when i was the recipient of hand-me-downs... i still am sometimes. i also found a box of letters from all kinds of friends... best friends from middle school, boys who liked me and wrote really mushy gross letters to me... "i miss you in the morning, i miss you in the daytime, i miss you at night... i go to sleep and wake up and still i'd miss you..." HA! that's slick. NOT. talk about cheese. but what do you know when you're 13? you think it's the greatest thing in the world that someone misses you like that and tells you profusely. heck, i like it even now when someone says they miss me... i think now though i would appreciate it in a more eloquent, less cheeseballl form. maybe even in another language? ooooh. sexy. haha.


i miss my long hair. hair, please grow back fast. i'm tired of this short thing.


i wonder what life is gonna be like 30 years from now... i'll be 50. will i be able to look back at this weblog and laugh or will the internet be obsolete and outdated? what could they come up with next?


here's a message to the 50 year old zandi:

dear me,

if in fact you do get to read this 30 years from now, i hope you're happy. i hope you got to do a kajillion things that you dreamed of doing. i hope you're still singing and acting... i hope you're being creative. i hope you finally found someone to make you incredibly happy and who shares all your passions with you. i hope you have beautiful children. if none of this came true, then, well... it sucks to be you. ha.


sincerely,

zandi







ok... maybe i should sleep a little now.


it's father's day! happy father's day papa! i love you and miss you!